i’m really fckin sad

Hey guys, I haven’t been able to post lately (even though I have sooo many great ideas for blog posts to come and I can’t wait to write them) because it’s the last couple months of the semester, and school is butchering me. I took on far too much this semester, and my personal life has been rocky lately, so I’M REALLY SAD and I wanna talk about it.

Grades are the worst. There are people that never show up to class, come take the test, ace it, and make an easy A. Then there are people, like me, that show up to every single class, struggle every second to study and understand the material, and still not do as well as I hoped, and THIS IS SO EXTreMELY FRUSTRATing. For me personally, I just need a high enough GPA to be accepted into the college of business at my school, after that, I know I can be extremely successful and passionate in my field, and grades won’t even mater!! I just need to be a good businesswoman, which I am. It’s ridiculous that so much rides on a grade, when the education system (from k-12 too, not just college) isn’t the best way for everyone to learn. And it’s not like the kids making worse grades are learning less, or less smart than the kids making better grades, those kids making better grades could just be better at retaining information and test taking! It sucks. It’s so extremely beyond important that you do well when your education is worth thousands of dollars. It’s cringe worthy to think you may not pass. It’s so much stress on a person DO YOU SEE WHY I HATE THIS. People with already difficult personal/financial lives can’t possibly handle adding the stress of school without combusting. Trust me, I’m very close to that point.

It’s been a tough time for me transitioning from being in a long relationship to being single, especially because I’m so in love with the person, and I know they could make me feel better. My family life is always screwed up, so I got a screwed up family, bad grades, and a deep depression about losing the love of my life that I try really fucking hard to not affect my daily life. It’s like my life used to fall apart, but I always had my relationship to find some positivity in and nooooooooooow I’m just a sad bitch that randomly cries at least 4 times a day. Now let’s add MENTAL ISSUES to that and see what happens.

I personally suffer with anxiety, the severity of it depends on the situation, but I just want to say that if you have some sort of mental problems, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. So many people suffer with anxiety (probably the most common), OCD, eating disorders, addiction, depression, or anything else, so don’t think that you are some sort of monster or you’re less normal, because normal isn’t even a real thing. Being aware of your mental issues and finding someone understanding to talk to about them (your mom, bestie, partner, teacher, etc) is the best way to cope with them. Through all the bad things I have been through lately, I’ve been able to keep my anxiety under control by reminding myself that when I have negative or stressful thoughts, it’ just my anxiety speaking and I’ll be perfectly fine in the end. I haven’t had a panic attack in months and my anxiety is so much better after I accepted it and worked on it overtime.

I’m so sorry if I sound like a girl with no real problems, complaining about life being too hard, but life is really fucking hard sometimes, and I wanted to rant. People will always tell you that “somebody else has way worse problems how can you even complain blahblahblahhhh” but don’t listen to them, because they don’t know your personal struggles and they don’t know what you’re going through, they are right that someone has it much worse, but that doesn’t mean your problems aren’t problems. I know my life will turn up soon because I keep a good attitude about it and live every day exactly how I want to, no matter how much I’m struggling on the inside.

Thank you guys for reading this post! Please stay tuned for tons of fun, explicit, and helpful posts and SEX TALKS to come soon! When the semester is over, I’ll post a ton, so make sure you’re following 🙂

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