is anybody listening?

Hello blog. This is strange. Blogging feels foreign. I know you don’t know or care about me and I know you probably haven’t noticed my absence, but alas, I have been very absent. I have been wanting to get on here and write this for a while now, but it just has never felt like the right time. I’m writing this at 1 am and I’m excited to catch you up on where I have been and why I haven’t blogged in god knows how long.

I used to be a consistent blogger. I will never go back to that, but I will always appreciate what blogging has done for me. This platform has been something that has truly and astronomically changed my life and my passions. When I discovered blogging, I discovered a whole new creative outlet and shockingly, I found a community of people who listened. I can never explain to you how groundbreaking it was for me to realize that my voice actually mattered and people actually listened and responded to my words. I couldn’t believe it. My numbers increased in a way that I truly couldn’t comprehend and looking back at that time right now, it’s still so surprising to me that my blog hit such high (in my standards) numbers at one point. This blog is truly the first step for me in realizing that I can be successful in my unconventional dreams. More importantly, this blog solidified something life-changing that I have always known, and that is that I am interesting and entertaining. I’m also a cocky asshole but that’s a different post. Realizing that I can obtain and sustain someone’s interest is honestly a huge honor and mind-blowing. I don’t care if a lot of people are listening or just a couple, connecting with people that share your thoughts is incredible and one of the best things about the internet. To this day, people view my posts every single day and it’s crazy to me that my advice and words still help others even when I’ve been inactive for so long. So now that I’ve told you how much I love blogging and how much it’s changed my life, let me tell you why I stopped doing it.

I started blogging in September 2016 after going through a bad break up. I quickly fell in love with blogging and would blog almost daily. On April 22, 2017, I didn’t have a blog prepared and I was super busy, so I decided to just film a video and post that on my blog instead. This was the first time I was ever going to upload a video since watching youtube from the very beginning in 2006 and wanting to do youtube basically since then. When I was younger, I never had the confidence to actually do it because I thought kids at school would find it and be the worst. I also never wanted to go through the camera buying (expensive) or editing (still hate editing) process that is necessary for Youtubers. My first ever video is called chit chatty get ready with me 🙂 and I filmed it on my iPhone 7+. I just step up my phone and filmed it without really even thinking about it. I uploaded that unedited and it’s a 30-minute video of me just talking about life and getting ready. This was a period of time that live videos were popular, so I was going for a live, unedited vibe. I’m really proud of the video solely because I was confident enough to finally do it. I didn’t even think about what I was doing, I really just did it to have a blog post, but little did I know, my life had just taken a new turn.

I started doing more and more videos and just filming and editing them on my phone. I even vlogged my 2017 Iran trip on my phone. In August 2017, I finally decided to get a big girl camera. I work at a decent job and I knew it was going to be a good investment for videos and pictures. I purchased a Nikon D3400 for $500 and that included all the accessories like a bag, tripod, 64 gig sd card, different lenses, and more. It is by far one of the best purchases I have ever made and I use it insanely often. I like it for both picture (the picture above was taken with that camera) and video and for the price, I think it’s a wonderful camera. I wish I had $1000-$2000 to spend on a camera, but not yet in life. After buying my camera, I slowly started focusing more on making videos versus writing blogs. It was a matter of numbers for me. My Youtube numbers were rising as my blog numbers fell. I also learned how much I love creating visual content and putting together videos. Another thing about making videos is that it takes less time for me to speak than type. I could rant about something for 10-20 minutes and make a decent video or I’ve been writing for 40 minutes now and I don’t even think this is that good of a post or anyone will care, so obviously, I’d rather just make the videos. Plus, after my uncle passed at the beginning of this year, I felt uninspired in every aspect. When I got back to creating, I focused on the videos because more people were responding to them and I had more fun doing them.

Even though blogging is harder for me, personally, I will never negate how nice it is to just let my mind flow. Writing blogs is truly a sense of therapy that I miss and that I want to get back to occasionally. Letting out thoughts is great. I still love this platform and I will always be proud of the posts I’ve made. I think I will continue to use this site as a public diary, documenting the important parts of my life and occasionally updating you on where I am at in life. I hope someone, somewhere enjoys that.

Thank you for allowing me to rant on about nothing. Thank you for giving me this space that has allowed me to step to a new platform, that I am sure will allow me to step on to hundreds of greater things. I have no doubt that the skills I learn from blogging and being a Youtuber will help me in any career. I am forever grateful to all the possibilities that have come to me because I started blogging.

If you want to subscribe to my Youtube channel or keep up with me on Instagram, that is where I am most active. My latest Youtube series that I’m still working on is my 2018 Iran trip if you would like to check that out as well. ❤️

2 Replies to “is anybody listening?”

  1. Sometimes blogging can seem disappointing when we put so much effort in and feel like no one’s listening, but you have a beautiful website and a lot of moxie! Hang in there and focus on the joy you get from creating new content 🙂 xo

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